“Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”  Dali Lama

Recently, one of our children has not been very happy with school.  She is in junior high, one of the toughest times in many peoples lives.  Everything is changing, people are getting judgmental, puberty has hit on all cylinders.   We told her that the key to battling that is making yourself feel good.  And the best tool for that is; positive affirmation.  This does not only apply to junior high students, but their teachers, athletes, professionals, stay at home parents…everyone

As a national champion coach and father of six children, one of the top tools I have used, along with visualization, is positive affirmation.  Sometimes you have done all of the work, all of the workouts, eaten right,  and kept loose; but that nagging doubt is still there.  This can cripple the most in-tune athlete, most well versed student, most confident business man/woman or junior high student.  But, some self-reminding of how great you are, may be all you need.  

Research has shown that self-affirmation increases the self processing and self valuation systems in the brain and allows an increased perception of self worth.  This allows you to push against resistances of self doubt, decrease stress and negative thoughts while promoting self integrity.  

I’m going to brag here.  My oldest son was a diver in high school.  The night before diving for the Western Pennsylvania Championship, he had a crappy practice.  His coach pushed him and he was not hitting the dives.  Despite having a great season, practicing extra and working hard, he had a meltdown the morning of WPIALs.  I walked into the bathroom, where he was, and told him how great he was and what he had accomplished.  I then, turned him to face the mirror and told him to tell himself out loud the same thing. Nine hours later he was WPIAL champ, with a then record score.   Positive affirmation was a catalyst.

Positive affirmation is just you telling yourself; you believe in you.  Your parents or spouse or children believe in you, your coaches and teachers believe in you, but most important; you need to believe in you.  Many times, you are the only one that can make or break you.  Therefore, it is a choice:  Are you going to believe in yourself or are you going to let yourself down? 

Like everything, the act of positive affirmation takes practice.  It may be hard and uncomfortable at first.  Start with a list of things that you want to tell yourself.  Focus on some accomplishments or just your character strengths.  Follow that by looking in the mirror, while telling yourself your strengths helps bring the affirmation home.  Another option is writing down your affirmations, several times, to solidify them.  Make sure everything is in present tense, such as “I am mentally strong.”  

Be realistic.  If you are an athlete, you have set goals and know your strengths and limitations.  If you are in business, focus on your business knowledge and personality strengths.  It doesn’t necessarily need to be a rigid goal like a time or a place.  It may just be a part of your life where you feel you need a boost.  Remind yourself how well you performed or accomplished things in the past.  It may just be to let yourself have fun, help the your team or feel good about your upcoming day.  We all want to win.   But, your idea of success may be much different from the next person.  Identify it and own it. 

Beware of the opposite of positive affirmation.  Negative affirmation.  These are the little things you tell you self when things don’t go right.  The little negative gremlin that growls things like “I told you so,’ or ‘why did I even try’ or ‘I suck”.  You may not look in the mirror and say it, but it may pop up during the day during a down time or after you do or something that doesn’t align with our goals, plans or ideologies.  

Your worst critic is yourself.  Make your biggest fan be yourself.   Make your positive inner voice shout louder than your inner critic.   Practice makes perfect and you will need it many times down the road.   Good Luck.