With six active children, we have attended a lot of events, soccer, plays, talent shows, track meets, debates, and the list goes on.  During these events I have observed many children, who are there for their siblings, not engaged or supportive.  Their parents bring IPADs, or give them phones, they may run around or linger in the halls, they have not interest in what their sibling is accomplishing at the time.  It may just be another day in a life, but for their brother and sister it could be monumental.  

Some of the disinterest may be due to sibling rivalry.  When talking about sibling rivalry, we always seem to envision two toddlers fighting over a stuffed animal or the dark story of Cain and Able.  As kids age, we do not address it as much, but it is there,   How can we turn sibling rivalry into sibling fandom?   

Sibling rivalry is inevitable.  It is basically your children’s first competition.  How it manifests itself is up to the parent and their cooperation with their children.  Left unchecked it can cause issues.  Sibling rivalry can lead to jealousy and of course misunderstanding without adult intervention.  Self esteem, emotional distress and social interactions can be affected by sibling rivalries kept unchecked.   It can also affect their ability to make friends and become good teammates.  

We want our children to be each others biggest fans.  You can preach family first, but; how do you get the message solidified.   It starts early in their development.  You want to start  your laying sibling fan-club groundwork early.  Use team mentality to create bonds between each other.   Here are some ideas to pull the team together early in the game.

1. Encourage positive interactions. Pick activities to do together to bring them closer.  Playing games, doing crafts or cooking together are a couple of ideas.  I, of course, am a fan of cleaning the kitchen together. 
2. Focus on each others strengths:   Highlight and praise the unique talents, interests and strengths of each one to help build respect and admiration.  At dinner, have them point out one thing that they like, admire or respect about their sibling.  It doesn’t have to be every night, but do it.  
3. Encourage teamwork.  Promote a team culture.  Create common goals and work together to reach them.  This is not to diminish individuality, but to show how individuals can come together,  get along better and understand they are on the same team.   Have a project or something as simple aforementioned cleaning up after dinner.  This will help with cooperation and a sense of shared accomplishment.
4. Create shared experiences.  Plan fun outings or events that both siblings can participate and bond over, creating shared memories and a sense of belonging together.
5. Lead by example.   As a parent or guardian model positive, supportive behavior towards your spouse, siblings and friends.  
6. Encourage open communication.  Encourage siblings to talk openly and honestly with each other, share their points of view to create understanding and respect.  Encourage your children to  understand each other’s perspectives,.  
7. Celebrate the achievements of others and help your children see the value in recognizing the successes of others.

Once you have laid the groundwork for the family team it is time to foster your fandom.  Sports   intensified its fanbase through sports reporting, social media and talk radio.  You continually receive information about your team and you be come more intimate with the sport.  Bring the same approach to your family fandom. Have your children discuss their activities intimately so there is knowledge of the team or activity.  Have them discuss other people involved and the potential outcomes of the event.   

When a big event is on the horizon, get the family involved in reviewing the event.  Build up some hype for the event, whether it’s a baseball game, school play or debate.  Make some hype signs to place around the house  or announce the game day, opening day of play or academic event such as a big test.  The more knowledge about the event the fan sibling has, the more interested they will become, when they attend the event.  

In creating sibling fandom, especially early on, there is work to be done at the event.  You do not want to ‘nag’ the attending sibling to pay attention, but you want them to be engaged.  Ask them questions, go over what you reviewed about the event.  Incentives such as a treat during or after is not a bribe but a reward.  Remember, it may take time and patience to encourage your child to be come more interested in their siblings’ activities, but with persistence and positive reinforcement, they will become more interested and involved in the success of their sibling.  

Hopefully you are able to create this fandom.  It is not an easy road to be a parent with multiple children and hope they love each other unconditionally.  But using the tips provided here can certainly help guide you on that road.  

One of myself and my wife’s concerns is our children’s relationships as they become adults.  Will they continue to have interest in their siblings when they are no longer involved in their lives, day to day?  I believe that instilling sibling fandom early on will carry over to adulthood.   The habit of being interested in the big things that your siblings  are doing will continue that fandom through your life.   For example:  My older brother has started taking flight lessons, so I monitor how that is going for him and am excited for his first solo flight.  

It is important to remember that everyone grows and changes in their own way and their relationships with each other may evolve over time.  However, by laying a foundation of love, support, communication and mutual respect, you can help set the stage for a lifelong sibling bond and fandom.