We are a little more conservative than most.  We have set 15 1/2 years old as the time to give our child a smartphone.  We have done this with our oldest who is now 30, so she got her first phone in 2007.  I am sure several days later she got her first inappropriate text and soon after her first D*%k pic.  We blew through two more kids before we were able to get a handle on the fast changing technology that invaded our life.  Since that time we have been trying to prove to #4 that 15 1/2 is the best age to give our next round(4,5,6) of kids a smartphone. 

The phone of our oldest is significantly different than the phone today.  And how!… it has more bells and whistles and apps.  In 2008, there were 500 apps available.  Today there are over 3 million!.  Amazingly on the plus side, the phone is now a photography studio, a music/video studio, a study hall, a newsroom and a board room.  And in the aftermath of the pandemic, it has become a bigger part of our lives.  A report released in October 2019 by the nonprofit organization Common Sense Media found that 8 to 12-year-olds in the United States use screens for entertainment for an average of 4 hours, 44 minutes a day, and 13 to 18-year-olds are on screens for an average of 7 hours, 22 minutes each day. It is believed that screen time had nearly doubled over the pandemic. It has abated but not to pre-pandemic levels.  These time figures did not account for using phone for schoolwork or homework.

According to several surveys, data suggests nearly half of U.S. kids have a smartphone by age 10. By age 14, smartphone ownership climbs to over 90%.   No matter the age, there are many reasons for when a first phone is placed in a child’s pocket. The age at which a child should get a smartphone is a subject of much debate among parents, educators, and experts in child development. Are children as young as 8 or 9 years old mature enough to handle the responsibility of owning a smartphone?  Or do you  believe that children should be at least 13 or 14 years old; or in our case 15 1/2 years old.   

One factor to consider when deciding on the best age for a child to get a smartphone is the child’s level of maturity. Children develop at different rates, and some children may be more responsible and better able to handle the challenges, mental fortitude and responsibilities of owning a smartphone than others. For example, some children may be able to understand the dangers of cyberbullying and the importance of privacy, while others may not be as aware of these issues.   

Of course, it is best to consider the child’s individual needs. For some children, having a smartphone may be essential for staying connected with friends and family, especially if they are involved in extracurricular activities or have a busy schedule. For other children, a smartphone may not be as necessary,  they may have limited social needs or are close to home at most times. Additionally, some children may have specific educational or safety needs that a smartphone can help meet, such as the ability to access online resources for learning or the ability to call for help in an emergency.  Parents need to weigh the use of the phone for these reasons in a commons sense format.  Reasons like everyone has one or it will make them more tech savvy may not be good enough.

The dark side of giving a child a phone is multilayered.  A parent needs to be diligent with it in the hands of their child.  It has been found that social skills have diminished among young people who use smart phones.   According to Scientific America overt smart phone use has been shown to reduce capacity to problem solve, slow the development of critical thinking and  has dulled impulse control.  There are studies showing that cell phone use has an effect on brain development, especially on children between 8-11-years old.    It has also shown to increase the chance of myopia(nearsightedness)

Smartphone overuse has been linked to depression, anxiety and low self esteem and in some cases thoughts of suicide.  It has also attributed to health issues resulting from reduced sleep, physical activity and social interaction.   

Cyberbullying and the over reliance on peer validation is multiplied with the use of the smartphone. The exposure to inappropriate content is also a concern, from sites and from other users.  Our middle child, who got her phone in 2015, was affected by the smartphone immensely.  We were not aware of the power of the smart phone on teens psyche at the time.  She experienced emotional highs and lows and still experiences anxiety.  And we feel that exposure to an unknown world was to blame.   We weren’t educated about the potential dangers of smartphone use, such as cyberbullying, sexting, and exposure to inappropriate content.  Parents need to have  open and honest conversations with their child about these risks. We wish we did it more with her. 

With a phone, your child has access to most of the world.  And, without awareness, the whole world has access to your child.   Our niece, when in her early teens, was contacted through an app by an older man who started to converse with her.  Luckily,  she told her parents.  Smart phones have been a portal to dangerous and even deadly situations. 

Whether it is 9 or 15, it is important for parents to set clear rules and boundaries for smartphone use, such as limiting screen time, monitoring online activity, and discussing the dangers of cyberbullying and privacy concerns.

Another key factor to consider is the type of smartphone that the child will be using. Some smartphones, such as those designed for kids, come with built-in parental controls and other features that can help parents monitor and limit the child’s usage.

There are alternatives to smart phones.  These cut out the worry of the internet but keeps your child in contact with you and family.  We use the gizmo smartwatch for our 11 year old, who walks home from school.  He is able to call or text us and 9 other people.  We can also track him through a gps setting.  There are other smart watch types like ticktalk, cosmo jr, and ojoy for kids.  Apple and galaxy watches are a more sophisticated alternative.  You can get them a screenless phone, or as we remember our old phones like the flip and Motorola.  They will be in contact but not online.  They can text, talk and also have gps capabilities. An iPad type device can be an alternative, but most have all the capabilities and pitfalls of a smartphone.  

If you decide to give your child a phone, remember it’s the parent’s job to monitor its usage.  I heard someone complaining about having this responsibility of their kid’s phone, and a smart person told them,  “Thats called being a parent!”  Limit screen time, check apps or websites, check texts and emails, use parental controls on the phone, track gps, check in on your child’s friends social media, educate kids on not sharing details or accepting requests from people that they do not know in person. Lead by example and create a contract of use.

Here are some tips for parents, based of our experience and research. 

1. Make sure your child knows that you are in charge of the phone.  You are able to access the phone at any time; read texts, check pictures, screen time.  Set this in your schedule.  This is not a violation of rights, it is your job as a parent and in most cases owner of the phone.  
2. Create rules and consequences from the get go.  it is important for parents to set clear rules and boundaries for smartphone use, such as limiting screen time, monitoring online activity, and discussing the dangers of cyberbullying and privacy concerns; to anticipating problem areas and situations.  Rules like no phones in bedroom or not after 9pm are a start.  Do not use the phone as a way to threaten your child but as a way to create responsibility. 
3. Use the parental control put out by the phone operating system and those available for apps your child is using.  This is not a failsafe method, but It helps. You still need to be proactive.
4. The use of apps by your child is on you.  You should know what is on their phone and how they are using them.  They should not be able to ‘buy’ an app without your permission.  And if they do, there needs to be consequences.  
5. Create conversation over what your child is using on the phone.  What apps and why they enjoy them.  What is working and what isn’t.  Are there things on the phone that are helping their day to day situations.  Be involved in their digital life as you would if they played soccer. 

6. Keep tabs on their behavior and moods.  Do you detect an increase in anxiety, changes in their psyche or attitude.  If so, make sure you react.  

So back to it… the best age for a child to get a smartphone will depend on several factors, including the child’s maturity level, individual needs, and the family’s values and priorities. But, ultimately the decision is up to the parent.  The right time is what you, after weighing the good bad and otherwise, decide it is.  Hopefully, it will involve setting clear rules and boundaries, and choosing a smartphone with built-in parental controls. This will help parents ensure that their child is able to safely and responsibly enjoy the benefits of smartphone technology. Based off of my research, 15 1/2 seems like a great age to get a cell phone.

*Note:  A lot of the problems with phone use at a young age are tied to social media.  So if you child is on an iPad, similar device or computer many hours, the affect on them may be the same.  However, these devices may be easier to manage as is it not as portable and personal.